Saturday, August 20, 2011
My space on your Wall
'They put you in boxes, define you and then pronounce your worth. Fine! You don’t care. You let them do whatever tom foolery they are interested in and you let yourself grow. Then, gradually you see them all around you. What must you do? You can’t run away from them. Suddenly, they are everywhere.
You then build up a thin circular wall around you and you feel safe, protected, all into yourself within that circle. Now, you can hear them, know whats happening around but you can’t see them and all they get to see is the wall. You feel at peace. You feel free to do your thing. You know they can’t bother you now. You carry this wall with you everywhere you go.’
Well, i only wish to tell you, my dear friend, that if ever i happen to find you enclosed in that wall, i shall be satisfied. I would know that you are at peace and happy within that wall. Perhaps, you would be growing into something even more beautiful. However, it would give me immense pain too for i shall not be able to see you. So, i’ll drill a small hole into your wall for myself, through which we both can see each other. And, you would know that am always there, somewhere around you, at the other side of the wall.
Friday, August 19, 2011
The Turbulence
‘I tried to cling on to it. The turbulent waves turning more violent than before, trying to throw me to a new world. I knew i had to leave it soon but i still kept holding on, trying to delay the ‘soon’. I knew it was inevitable but i tried my best to stay there as long as i could. It was not that i had certain hopes but there was something which wouldn’t just let me go.
Waves came and hit me making me weak day by day. May be i was waiting for a mighty one to come slaying that part of me which kept me hanging on there, pointlessly. Then, one day that wave came and struck me hard. I realized that there was no point fighting this one. It only said, “Either drown or come along.” And i came along.’
Most of you who happen to be unfortunate to have been bestowed with a clean heart face the problem of attachment and detachment. It is the detachment that i was talking about in the lines up there. It has never been easy.
We know things will take their own course in life but we continue trying to make them take ours. Its not like we think that we are God during those turbulent times. Its only that we are behaving like a kid who howls to have one ice-cream after another though he knows he won’t be allowed, lest he catch flu. We may call it the stubborn within us who just refuses to do the right thing to be done though hes very well aware of it.
But then who would you blame for all this, for giving life and energy to this stubborn within us? - the other people, the circumstances, the wrong time, life as a whole, or Him? In the end, you tend to just blame yourself.
Waves came and hit me making me weak day by day. May be i was waiting for a mighty one to come slaying that part of me which kept me hanging on there, pointlessly. Then, one day that wave came and struck me hard. I realized that there was no point fighting this one. It only said, “Either drown or come along.” And i came along.’
Most of you who happen to be unfortunate to have been bestowed with a clean heart face the problem of attachment and detachment. It is the detachment that i was talking about in the lines up there. It has never been easy.
We know things will take their own course in life but we continue trying to make them take ours. Its not like we think that we are God during those turbulent times. Its only that we are behaving like a kid who howls to have one ice-cream after another though he knows he won’t be allowed, lest he catch flu. We may call it the stubborn within us who just refuses to do the right thing to be done though hes very well aware of it.
But then who would you blame for all this, for giving life and energy to this stubborn within us? - the other people, the circumstances, the wrong time, life as a whole, or Him? In the end, you tend to just blame yourself.
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
I’ve had enough of Law all these years. Lets discuss Ethics!
Date: 14th August.
I have been listening a lot, reading a lot and now have ended up discussing a lot about the Janhit Lokpal Bill introduced in the Parliament owing to the efforts of Shri Anna Hazare. Personally, i respect the old man and his Gandhian principles. However, i don’t wish to talk much about his integrity because politics in this country might encourage me to be patriotic but it can never arouse faith.
On the eve of Independence day, India has always been inundated with debates all across the country about how it achieved independence, the sacrifices involved, the wars they’ve fought, the terrorist attacks and how Indians have fought it all together. And they ‘appear’ patriotic like-never-before this day, with television screening patriotic songs throughout the day. Well, the story is slightly different this time.
They say that the superficial patriotism has gone skin deep as Indians try to fight another battle- battle against corruption. Am not discussing the spectrum scams, am not discussing the mining scam, am not discussing the Adarsh scam, am discussing the ‘New Patriotic Indian’.
Patriotism forms part of the ethical structure of the society. It is definitely part of our value system. Respecting the national flag, the national anthem, cheering for Indians in the international scenario and saluting the Indian army. We all do that. So do we intend to say that suddenly these Indians have become more ethical with the coming of Generation Y ?
I am afraid the answer is no. The hue and cry over the Lokpal Bill deals with various legal issues. They say it challenges the constitutional framework- the grundnorm. The others try to convince that the Lokpal would be the common man’s watchdog in the system dodging out corruption. And the Indians see themselves entagled into the viscious circle of fighting for the means, yet again, while the end awaits to be grasped.
Corruption- is it really a legal issue? No, its not. What are we doing when we boast about our negotiating skills to our friends telling them how we got our work done at a public office for a few hundreds or thousands as if it was small change. The other day, my mother told me that she had to pay the house tax assessment officer some extra money though her tax assessment was correct so that he doesen’t object unnecessarily. Take another instance, when the traffic policeman catches us without helmet, aren’t we confident that we’ll get away paying him money.
Mothers these days are busy in offices or clubs. Gone are the days when tiny tots were taught “Its not yours. Give it back”. The basic values are diminishing with the coming of age. Its the conscience that guides us and Indians have chosen to let their conscience sleep. Am sorry but there is no ‘New Patriotic Indian’ in the picture. How i wish that the so called Lokpal happens to have enormous powers- powers not just enough to catch the corrupt officials by their collar but powers to awaken these sleeping Indians. Patriotism, my friends, has still not gone skin deep.
A system of accountability and transparency, responsibility and freedom- Make it happen Indians. High time! It must be understood that any bill or any law is not the solution, if at all we’re looking for one!
I have been listening a lot, reading a lot and now have ended up discussing a lot about the Janhit Lokpal Bill introduced in the Parliament owing to the efforts of Shri Anna Hazare. Personally, i respect the old man and his Gandhian principles. However, i don’t wish to talk much about his integrity because politics in this country might encourage me to be patriotic but it can never arouse faith.
On the eve of Independence day, India has always been inundated with debates all across the country about how it achieved independence, the sacrifices involved, the wars they’ve fought, the terrorist attacks and how Indians have fought it all together. And they ‘appear’ patriotic like-never-before this day, with television screening patriotic songs throughout the day. Well, the story is slightly different this time.
They say that the superficial patriotism has gone skin deep as Indians try to fight another battle- battle against corruption. Am not discussing the spectrum scams, am not discussing the mining scam, am not discussing the Adarsh scam, am discussing the ‘New Patriotic Indian’.
Patriotism forms part of the ethical structure of the society. It is definitely part of our value system. Respecting the national flag, the national anthem, cheering for Indians in the international scenario and saluting the Indian army. We all do that. So do we intend to say that suddenly these Indians have become more ethical with the coming of Generation Y ?
I am afraid the answer is no. The hue and cry over the Lokpal Bill deals with various legal issues. They say it challenges the constitutional framework- the grundnorm. The others try to convince that the Lokpal would be the common man’s watchdog in the system dodging out corruption. And the Indians see themselves entagled into the viscious circle of fighting for the means, yet again, while the end awaits to be grasped.
Corruption- is it really a legal issue? No, its not. What are we doing when we boast about our negotiating skills to our friends telling them how we got our work done at a public office for a few hundreds or thousands as if it was small change. The other day, my mother told me that she had to pay the house tax assessment officer some extra money though her tax assessment was correct so that he doesen’t object unnecessarily. Take another instance, when the traffic policeman catches us without helmet, aren’t we confident that we’ll get away paying him money.
Mothers these days are busy in offices or clubs. Gone are the days when tiny tots were taught “Its not yours. Give it back”. The basic values are diminishing with the coming of age. Its the conscience that guides us and Indians have chosen to let their conscience sleep. Am sorry but there is no ‘New Patriotic Indian’ in the picture. How i wish that the so called Lokpal happens to have enormous powers- powers not just enough to catch the corrupt officials by their collar but powers to awaken these sleeping Indians. Patriotism, my friends, has still not gone skin deep.
A system of accountability and transparency, responsibility and freedom- Make it happen Indians. High time! It must be understood that any bill or any law is not the solution, if at all we’re looking for one!
The Jaguar costs too much !
Date: 4th july. Time: 10.30p.m. I had a train to catch at 11.30 p.m. from New Delhi Railway Station. I have a history of catching trains in Delhi just about in time which means had i came a minute or two later i would have missed these trains. Though this time i was a little less worried because everytime its Manish who drops me to the station. Manish needs a little introduction here. He is casual, fun loving and “For-fun-dude-For-thrill” type of a guy and i guess together our luck gets summed up only to that much which is just enough to not let me miss my train.
This evening it was Anupam, my very much-responsible-caring and blah blah (fill in all good words) jijz (read my sister’s boyfriend since ages) driving a bike in Delhi’s busy roads and seeing me off to lucknow. I like to be the pillion rider when he’s driving. The reason being that i like to pat on his fat belly when hes driving. (I call it playing tabla on his tond like a child.) The other obvious reason is that i like the way he drives. But this time there was a big suitcase in between because of which i had to give the childplay a skip. Though Anupam tried his best to avoid all potholes and drive smoothly still i was a bit uncomfortable as i had to manage my laptop bag also along with the suitcase on the bike.
The bike halted at a red light after a long 30 minute journey. I tried to make myself a bit comfortable and just then I saw my favourite car right beside me – A Shining White Jaguar. My eyes quickly ran into the interiors of the car. I tilted my neck a bit to see the backseat as well. The steering, the seats, the doors, etc and the technicalities installed. I was awestruck and thoughts of owning it one day plagued my mind. How i wished it didn’t have so much cost attached to it! There was still time for the light to go green so i thought of giving my eyes the pleasure of going through the beauty once again.
The chauffeur was an old man of around 65 years. In this old age, he managed to look quite smart! A teenage girl sat beside him. She had an i-phone and was busy using it with a smile on her face. She looked contended.
I tilted my neck a bit once again to have a look at the owner of the vehicle sitting in the backseat. He was a middle-aged man working on his tablet. He looked busy and had a frown on his face. Beside him sat his wife.
She looked simple in a printed chiffon salwar kameez. She wore pearl earings and a necklace which were supposed to glorify her status as a wife of a rich man. I was actually expecting a high class rich aunty of delhi with a lot of gold and diamonds beside the owner but instead was surprised to see the lady adorned in simplicity in the car. She was fidgeting with her mangalsutra and watched her husband work on the tablet and her daughter busy with her phone. She thought of initiating some talk. But then she leaned back on the seat and started looking outside. She looked dull and unhappy. The family was together out for a drive to ... i don’t know where but the lady wanted more than just the physical presence of her family members. She wanted them to chat with her. May be that was one such time when the entire family got the chance to be together. And yet they hardly talked. The dullness in her life pinched me.
While i was wondering all this, the signal went green. Anupam drove past the car and i looked back at the lady who hadn’t changed her posture from then. She kept staring out with her head resting on the backseat. Soon the Jaguar overtook us and i noticed the lady for the last time. Her eyes sunken. She kept thinking something. Dejected, she was.
Suddenly the Jaguar didn’t seem something big. It didn’t find a place in my one-of-those dreams. Strangely, it had lost its significance. All of a sudden, that dullness on her face ripped away all the admiration i had for that car. That tablet, that i-phone, that chauffeur which came along with the Jaguar became a pile-on.
Throughout our lives we keep speculating about what we want to do in life, how do we see ourselves about 25 years from now, our dreams, and we keep wishing that we want to be this and that in life. We all are dreamers in that sense. I don’t know what i’ll be doing in my life ahead but that day i realized what i didn’t want to be if not anything else. Theres a certain twinkle in my eyes which i can’t dare to lose. It keeps me going through thick and thin.
I don’t want that Jaguar anymore. It just costs too much indeed!
This evening it was Anupam, my very much-responsible-caring and blah blah (fill in all good words) jijz (read my sister’s boyfriend since ages) driving a bike in Delhi’s busy roads and seeing me off to lucknow. I like to be the pillion rider when he’s driving. The reason being that i like to pat on his fat belly when hes driving. (I call it playing tabla on his tond like a child.) The other obvious reason is that i like the way he drives. But this time there was a big suitcase in between because of which i had to give the childplay a skip. Though Anupam tried his best to avoid all potholes and drive smoothly still i was a bit uncomfortable as i had to manage my laptop bag also along with the suitcase on the bike.
The bike halted at a red light after a long 30 minute journey. I tried to make myself a bit comfortable and just then I saw my favourite car right beside me – A Shining White Jaguar. My eyes quickly ran into the interiors of the car. I tilted my neck a bit to see the backseat as well. The steering, the seats, the doors, etc and the technicalities installed. I was awestruck and thoughts of owning it one day plagued my mind. How i wished it didn’t have so much cost attached to it! There was still time for the light to go green so i thought of giving my eyes the pleasure of going through the beauty once again.
The chauffeur was an old man of around 65 years. In this old age, he managed to look quite smart! A teenage girl sat beside him. She had an i-phone and was busy using it with a smile on her face. She looked contended.
I tilted my neck a bit once again to have a look at the owner of the vehicle sitting in the backseat. He was a middle-aged man working on his tablet. He looked busy and had a frown on his face. Beside him sat his wife.
She looked simple in a printed chiffon salwar kameez. She wore pearl earings and a necklace which were supposed to glorify her status as a wife of a rich man. I was actually expecting a high class rich aunty of delhi with a lot of gold and diamonds beside the owner but instead was surprised to see the lady adorned in simplicity in the car. She was fidgeting with her mangalsutra and watched her husband work on the tablet and her daughter busy with her phone. She thought of initiating some talk. But then she leaned back on the seat and started looking outside. She looked dull and unhappy. The family was together out for a drive to ... i don’t know where but the lady wanted more than just the physical presence of her family members. She wanted them to chat with her. May be that was one such time when the entire family got the chance to be together. And yet they hardly talked. The dullness in her life pinched me.
While i was wondering all this, the signal went green. Anupam drove past the car and i looked back at the lady who hadn’t changed her posture from then. She kept staring out with her head resting on the backseat. Soon the Jaguar overtook us and i noticed the lady for the last time. Her eyes sunken. She kept thinking something. Dejected, she was.
Suddenly the Jaguar didn’t seem something big. It didn’t find a place in my one-of-those dreams. Strangely, it had lost its significance. All of a sudden, that dullness on her face ripped away all the admiration i had for that car. That tablet, that i-phone, that chauffeur which came along with the Jaguar became a pile-on.
Throughout our lives we keep speculating about what we want to do in life, how do we see ourselves about 25 years from now, our dreams, and we keep wishing that we want to be this and that in life. We all are dreamers in that sense. I don’t know what i’ll be doing in my life ahead but that day i realized what i didn’t want to be if not anything else. Theres a certain twinkle in my eyes which i can’t dare to lose. It keeps me going through thick and thin.
I don’t want that Jaguar anymore. It just costs too much indeed!
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